Hi Beloved Friends!!
I’ve been away for quite a few months! Had an eye inflammation to recover from and somehow a huge sense of blah… I felt guilty not writing blog posts, but I couldn’t bring myself up to it, because it didn’t feel right. These past months I have been feeling like I’m on a boat somewhere in the middle of an ocean not knowing where the wind will take me. I don’t take the steering wheel because I don’t know where the heck I want to sail to… Is that a familiar feeling to you? Have you ever felt like you are meant to do something, but just don’t know what it is? I somehow felt empty and lost. It’s not that I wasn’t happy, but something was itching inside of me. I felt like I couldn’t ignore it anymore, that I couldn’t outrun it anymore. “From what?!”, I hear you say.
I’ll tell you what it is, it’s: my deepest desire and dreams… It’s buried in a chest somewhere in a cave very deep at the bottom of the ocean. It has chains all around it and it’s guarded by a giant octopus. Of course I’m afraid to come close. I’ve actually never looked for that darn chest. Why would I, when I had enough distraction on the surface?! Well the distractions were getting blurry and the chest was calling for me… I’m still trying to look for it, haven’t found it yet, but I’m coming close.
Now getting back from the metaphors though, how do you actually find what you were meant to do? How do people know what their dream is? For some it may seem a very easy question. Some may know what they want from when they were kids. I, on the other hand, was too busy figuring out how to please others, so ignoring my feelings was something I had learned to do. Now that I think of it, it felt like pushing a coil in your gut aside. But as that was often something I felt, I thought it was normal. That that feeling was childish and that I had to become adult and do the right thing. So I was mainly focused on keeping a poker face. I’ve done this for almost 30 years.
I had been avoiding to ask myself what my dream was, because I was afraid, because I didn’t believe in myself and because I assumed I would never succeed anyway. Anyhows, staying home for more than 2 weeks with an inflammation on both eyes, it was impossible for me to go outside or enjoy any outdoor activity whatsoever (no shopping for me alas, couldn’t see the prices anyway…). So that really forced me to sleep and think a lot haha! I was also watching (or rather listening to) a lot of inspirational YouTube vids. I then decided to take matters in my own hands and work on figuring out what it was that I was meant to do. I even had a meeting with my career coach and some things became obvious to me. I need to work on something just for me. The reason why blogging about beauty alone wasn’t enough anymore was because it wasn’t personal enough. I love to feel connected with you. And I have made some precious friends over the past 2 years through this blog. This feeling of connecting, helping and supporting each other in difficult times is something I truly cherish. So what does this actually mean for the future of my blog?
I wish to continue writing, which I truly enjoy. But I want to do more for my readers. I want to help people to have a different perspective on certain situations. So I will be incorporating aside from the usual Beauty topics more subjects on self development, confidence, inner beauty, happiness… Because those are subjects that I hold near to my heart. I thus have a lot of ideas coming up. If there are any topics you’d like me to write about, feel free to put it in the comment section and I’ll be sure to make a post out of it!
Hope you’re open to the changes I’m making! I’m actually really excited and looking forward to the upcoming posts!