Hello my green smoothies,
We’ve all experienced it before: we meet someone who just annoys the crap out of us. It could be a friend who’s bragging about something new they bought or acquired, it could be that super hot chick who’s got the guys flocking around her, it could be that you see someone you know posting her super sexy pictures online, it could be because of a close bond there is between your BF and his lady friend,… Don’t you just want to go to them and slap them in the face :p. It’s that ugly green thing that’s called jealousy. I used to be quite a jealous person and I hated how it made me look (not attractive to say the least) so I decided to do something about it.
Perhaps you already know how to deal with it (and that’s awesome!), but I think that there are many people out there who could benefit from this little piece of info :).
Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with jealous feelings:
I’ve learned to ask myself “why and what” until I get to the bottom of it:
- Why is this person bothering me so much? Often it was because I was jealous…
- Why do I feel jealous? There is something about her that I don’t have.
- What is it that she has that I don’t have?
- Where do I have control over? What can I do to stop feeling this way?
Once you figure out what is truly making you have those feelings, you can actually act upon it, take action! I often came to the conclusion that I was feeling this way because:
- I was lacking self confidence
- This person had the skills to do something I couldn’t
- This person looked in a way that made me feel intimidated
So, I started to ask myself what things I could do to get over these feelings.
9 out of 10 times, it meant that I needed to work on myself. Because that’s the only thing that you can control.
Am I saying that you have to go out and buy the one thing that the other person has? No, that’s ridiculous, but you could ask yourself the question: do I really need it in order to be happy? How will it make me happy? Or am I saying that you have to train like a beast to have that killer body? No, not if it’s to gain the attention of the man you want. Yes, if you want to do that for yourself, to become a healthier person.
I truly believe that these feelings of jealousy can turn into something positive, like a driving force to help you become a better person.
When you continuously try to become a better version of yourself, you’ll feel so good being you, being in your body, that you will naturally lose these feelings of jealousy.
The advantage of working hard on myself, physically but mostly mentally, is that I’ve become more happy and I care less about what other people think. And this feeling, my friends, is simply liberating.
Believe me, it makes you a lot more attractive to other people.
My BF recently told me that the reason he loved me, was because I continued to amaze and surprise him, even after 13 years of being in a relationship with each other. To which I responded “what you do you mean, I’m an open book :p”. He said that each time he thought he knew how my mind worked, I had “evolved and added another layer for him to discover”. I felt really touched by his words. And I guess he came to this conclusion because I have continuously been working on myself these past few years.
I guess you can say that by working on yourself, you thus create deeper and deeper layers.
Imagine someone who’s always jealous and continuously negative, you can spot them from a mile away. They’re unattractive, aren’t willing to get out of their misery. It almost seems like their personality is one dimensional. I’m not saying you can’t have a bad period.
But at some point you need to get out of that self pity and take action, such as:
- Watching Youtube vids, here are some suggestions:
- Mel Robbins
- Marie Forleo
- Chris Guillebeau
- Gillian Perkins
- you can go further by reading some amazing self help books on a topic you wish to get better at:
- eat more healthy
- feeling happy
- looking for purpose in your life
- how to find drive
- Go to events or workshops or take classes. I started Belly Dancing 2 years ago and it gave me so much energy. Find that one thing that makes your heart flutter!
- Go see a coach! If you find the right person who can click with you, they could help you become so much happier!
That wraps up my little rant about jealousy! I still get jealous from time to time, but I welcome this feeling with open arms. It’s not a negative feeling to me anymore. Because it’s my inner self telling me that it’s time to learn something new :).
Hope you enjoyed this post! Please share below how you deal with jealousy! Have a lovely week friends!