Cup of Confessions: How I deal with Jealousy

Hello my green smoothies,

We’ve all experienced it before: we meet someone who just annoys the crap out of us. It could be a friend who’s bragging about something new they bought or acquired, it could be that super hot chick who’s got the guys flocking around her, it could be that you see someone you know posting her super sexy pictures online, it could be because of a close bond there is between your BF and his lady friend,… Don’t you just want to go to them and slap them in the face :p. It’s that ugly green thing that’s called jealousy. I used to be quite a jealous person and I hated how it made me look (not attractive to say the least) so I decided to do something about it.

Perhaps you already know how to deal with it (and that’s awesome!), but I think that there are many people out there who could benefit from this little piece of info :).

Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with jealous feelings:

I’ve learned to ask myself “why and what” until I get to the bottom of it:

  1. Why is this person bothering me so much? Often it was because I was jealous…
  2. Why do I feel jealous? There is something about her that I don’t have.
  3. What is it that she has that I don’t have?
  4. Where do I have control over? What can I do to stop feeling this way?

Once you figure out what is truly making you have those feelings, you can actually act upon it, take action! I often came to the conclusion that I was feeling this way because:

  • I was lacking self confidence
  • This person had the skills to do something I couldn’t
  • This person looked in a way that made me feel intimidated

So, I started to ask myself what things I could do to get over these feelings.

9 out of 10 times, it meant that I needed to work on myself. Because that’s the only thing that you can control.

Am I saying that you have to go out and buy the one thing that the other person has? No, that’s ridiculous, but you could ask yourself the question: do I really need it in order to be happy? How will it make me happy? Or am I saying that you have to train like a beast to have that killer body? No, not if it’s to gain the attention of the man you want. Yes, if you want to do that for yourself, to become a healthier person.

I truly believe that these feelings of jealousy can turn into something positive, like a driving force to help you become a better person.

When you continuously try to become a better version of yourself, you’ll feel so good being you, being in your body, that you will naturally lose these feelings of jealousy.

The advantage of working hard on myself, physically but mostly mentally, is that I’ve become more happy and I care less about what other people think. And this feeling, my friends, is simply liberating.

Believe me, it makes you a lot more attractive to other people.

My BF recently told me that the reason he loved me, was because I continued to amaze and surprise him, even after 13 years of being in a relationship with each other. To which I responded “what you do you mean, I’m an open book :p”. He said that each time he thought he knew how my mind worked, I had “evolved and added another layer for him to discover”. I felt really touched by his words. And I guess he came to this conclusion because I have continuously been working on myself these past few years.

I guess you can say that by working on yourself, you thus create deeper and deeper layers.

Imagine someone who’s always jealous and continuously negative, you can spot them from a mile away. They’re unattractive, aren’t willing to get out of their misery. It almost seems like their personality is one dimensional. I’m not saying you can’t have a bad period.

But at some point you need to get out of that self pity and take action, such as:

  • Watching Youtube vids, here are some suggestions:
    • Mel Robbins
    • Marie Forleo
    • Chris Guillebeau
    • Gillian Perkins
  • you can go further by reading some amazing self help books on a topic you wish to get better at:
    • eat more healthy
    • feeling happy
    • looking for purpose in your life
    • how to find drive
  • Go to events or workshops or take classes. I started Belly Dancing 2 years ago and it gave me so much energy. Find that one thing that makes your heart flutter!
  • Go see a coach! If you find the right person who can click with you, they could help you become so much happier!

That wraps up my little rant about jealousy! I still get jealous from time to time, but I welcome this feeling with open arms. It’s not a negative feeling to me anymore. Because it’s my inner self telling me that it’s time to learn something new :).

Hope you enjoyed this post! Please share below how you deal with jealousy! Have a lovely week friends!

Love,

Sarah

13 thoughts on “Cup of Confessions: How I deal with Jealousy

  1. 50shad3s0fjay says:

    This is such a great concept for a post and I agree with everything you’ve said / every tip you’ve given. It’s all about self love / working on yourself, because when you fully love yourself there is no room to be jealous of another, you just see the beauty in them and like you say, it’s a great chance to work on yourself. It’s natural to feel jealous sometimes, but instead of seeing it as a negative you could easily turn it into something more positive and beneficial to not only yourself, but the world around you! Also, that’s so sweet what your boyfriend said! Cutie!

    Liked by 1 person

    • sarahscupofbeauty says:

      thank you so so so much Jenny! I love talking about these topics as they’re part of my growth. So I like sharing it, hoping it’ll help someone out there. I just feel that being positive in life is what makes you happy and naturally attractive. We all have a beautiful potential that we just need to unlock. And it always starts with the small things ^^. Thanks for dropping by, Gorgeous! xoxo Sarah

      Liked by 1 person

      • 50shad3s0fjay says:

        You are welcome hun! It’s lovely that you think that way 🙂 Agreed 1000%, of course if someone is positive, it’s an attractive energy! Agreed 100% (again haha) I love your outlook on life. And yes, the small things equate to the bigger. No worries, have a great weekend xx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Alisha Roy says:

    Oh my god, Sarah! Such a wonderful way to handle such an ugly feeling and your methods to do so are practical. ” it meant that I needed to work on myself. Because that’s the only thing that you can control.” – I love this line! I am going to remember this when I feel jealous.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hunida says:

    Loved this post, Sarah! I agree with you that jealousy can make someone super unattractive. I do get the feeling from time to time still but not nearly as much as I did as a teen. I know we are all different now & I like being unique so I don’t see the point in wanting what others have anymore. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • sarahscupofbeauty says:

      Thank you so much Hunida!! Much appreciate it, girl!! Indeed, jealousy is not something I often feel nowadays. And yet, it doesn’t seem that far away in the past. Even though I am quite happy with who I am today, I always feel like there is room for improvement. While the feeling used to be jealousy, it’s now turned into admiration for a person. When you can identify this feeling and turn it into something positive, it no longer is jealousy but pure awe and admiration. But both feelings come from a same place, except that you’re now genuinely happy for that person and see them as an example. It’s quite empowering…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. LivingOutLoud says:

    Hi Sarah!
    I really enjoyed this post. I have definitely dealt with feeling jealous and it usually stemmed from my insecurities. The jealousy was also ingrained into me for awhile because in my early twenties I was in a very abusive relationship where the guy was constantly comparing me to other women and telling me it was a shame that he ended up with me. That hurt for a very long time and made me feel very insecure around other women. I have thankfully become less of a jealous person since I have been working on myself and pursuing my dreams and interests. Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions. Hearing about your story and growth is inspiring me to continue growing into my best self.

    ❤ Alana

    Liked by 1 person

    • sarahscupofbeauty says:

      Hi Alana! Growth often comes from a place of sufferance… You’ve been through so much and it’s great to see that you’re getting over that. One thing is for sure, the you now would never take that crap from a guy ever again like that. You know what you’re worth. We have some insecure days, but at least we’re working towards a life full of positivity and progress! You go girl!! xoxo Sarah

      Liked by 1 person

      • LivingOutLoud says:

        Thanks a bunch Sarah! Yes, this has been a wonderful journey of growth and learning that I deserve to be respected and valued. Being a confident person who is not jealous takes practice and is an ongoing work in progress, but it is definitely worth the effort!

        ❤ Alana

        Like

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