We are currently nearing the end of September and I at this point, don’t know what to write about. All I know is that I miss writing and interacting with you guys. But over these past 4 months, a lot has changed in my life. I won’t go into the details as it involves a lot of people.
I’ve said it before, but my life has been literally a roller coaster for these past few months, on emotional and physical level. I’ve learned so much from the things and the people that have made their way to my life and heart. And I am truly excited for how my life will unfold in the following months and years. I’ve never been closer to myself than at this moment. It’s exciting and a bit scary at the same time. Because I am experiencing everything for the first time. It is quite exhilarating to consider everything as new, to perhaps see things through innocent eyes with openness and without judgment. I am more excited, confident, calm and… well, happy!
More than ever, I believe in destiny, in meeting people at the right time and the right circumstances. I’ve learned to see those signs, to not work against it, let go of fear and allow myself to receive, to experience life and love hard. This also means that I’ve put myself perhaps in a vulnerable situation to get hurt. But it doesn’t weigh up against what I’ve learned from this and from the friendships I’ve gained. On the contrary, I think when you encounter a setback, you learn so much from it and about yourself.
This also means, that I won’t shy away from being vulnerable in the future, because that’s where you get to experience strong love, happiness and gratefulness, even if it means that I’ll sometimes have to deal with being hurt. I’ve learned to embrace it, because each time it shifts something in me that guides me toward the right direction in life. Each experience just brings me closer to who I truly am. And that in itself is so exciting.
Throughout these months, I’ve also learned to let go of grudges I’ve held on to for so long, I can’t even remember when it started. I’ve learned to forgive, but also to move past believes that I’ve had about myself that were holding me back (not being good enough, not being pretty enough, being too fat, not girly enough, not smart enough,…). I can’t even begin to tell you how that has changed my life. Sometimes we want so badly that people understand our point of view. But at the end of the day, we must let go and forgive, not for them, but for ourselves. Because by not doing so, we continue hurting and dragging that with us. It now feels so light and easy that I feel like I could accomplish anything.
Now before you get any crazy ideas about what I mean with me being on a roller coaster on physical level… It’s just that I kind of let go of the idea of dieting. From the moment I did this… I lost weight hahaha. I just found a sport that I adore and I’ve been consistently doing that. I’m of course talking about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (I’ll probably have to make a post on that, cause I don’t stop talking about it…). I’ve learned to love my body the way it is built. I’ve always felt insecure about how broad my shoulders were and my frame in general (contrary to the stereotypical fine bone structure you often see with Asian people). But it’s built to be strong and I’ve embraced that completely ^^. And before you ask, yes, I’m still full of bruises. Even new, are the mat burns, because I’ve been doing it more engagingly in the “rolling” (read: battles) as we call it… It’s crazy, right?! I’m now even preparing for a tournament and the Belgian Championship of 2019!!
I’m also preparing for 2 bellydance shows, for which I am super excited. I’ve been exploring different styles and I am so inspired that I have several projects in mind, for my solo’s and duo’s with my partner in crime. I’ve finally also found a name that sticks with me as solo artist, Sarafiah! So happy with how it sound :D!! I’ll soon make a blogpost of my experience at the Bellydance Sparkles show (which was back in May), where I did my first solo ever!!
Sooooo, what does it actually mean for this blog? I more than ever stand strongly behind inspiring and helping people to deal with certain stressful or painful situations, to look for positivity and feel self love. It’s something I am passionate about, hoping that somehow it would help someone out there. My love for beauty hasn’t changed, though I now no longer feel the urge to purchase that much beauty products hahaha. That was the result of getting closer to myself. So I am currently using up all the products I’ve hoarded for the past years :p. So you may expect an empties post quite soon.
My make up routine has also been very basic these past few months, though it has nothing to do with laziness. I’ve just learned to appreciate my natural beauty more ;). Of course, I’ll go for that cat liner any time ;). It’s just that I don’t feel the urge to put on that much armor anymore, because I do feel good with who I am. I’m more at ease. It’s all part of the process, right?!
Soooo that was kind of the update, friends! I won’t commit to a fixed posting day, as I am so busy with all my activities!! But I definitely have a list of ideas for the posts and please feel free to make suggestions!